Close as Strangers

It’s depressing as fuck, you were so close to me, i thought you were my sister. You were my best friend, you were my 2am phone call. I told you everything — my favorite color, my favorite food, my fears, my favorite number. I knew everything about you, you knew everything about me. We were best friends. You promised me, that no matter what, we would always be together. That we would always have each other. But most importantly, you promised me that you would catch me and my heart every time it got broken. You gave me security. You were my best friend.¬†Were is the keyword here. I hope you understand everything you have put me through.

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The Importance of You

Dear You,

They say that miracles come out of no where and they are unexpected. Funny thing is that I never believed what they said. I believed that friendship was a lie, that love was just a four letter word with no meaning that others talked about. When people told me they cared about me and that they would be there I gave them a fake smile and turned away so fast, they didn’t see the look I gave them. The look of disbelief. They didn’t mean what they said, nobody did. I never opened my heart to anyone and I turned down friendships quickly, this gave reason to why I only had three close friends I could actually confide in. I was not popular, people did not like me, and I was okay with that. I didn’t need people, I didn’t care for large parties, I didn’t want friends. They told me miracles are unexpected. I can say with confidence that you were my miracle, the one that gave meaning to the four letter word known as love. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.

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Broken Goodbyes

It must have been easy for you. I was the one that took the hits for you, the one that you went to when you had no one to listen and you felt like no one cared. I was the one that stayed up late video chatting with you, making sure that you were okay and not hanging up until I knew you were safe. I was the one that fought for you. When everyone left I stayed by your side, even though I gave up everything just to stand beside you. But you? You’re a different story. It must have been so easy for you to leave me.

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The Game of Love

Baby Girl, are you sure you would like to play this game we call love?

This is the kind of love that sets your world on fire. Every time he kisses you, your head will hurt with excitement. You will feel your heart racing in your chest. You have dreamed about his kiss for countless nights, but tasting his lips on yours makes everything an unreality. You will get high off of his kisses, they will leave you thirsting for more every second your’e with him. You will want to feel the touch of his skin on yours all the time. He will become your addiction, and for a small amount of time, you will be his too.

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Never Ending Betrayal

Why do the kindest, nicest, warmest people always get hurt?

Is it because they are so busy caring for others, that they have no time to care for themselves? Is it because they have suffered so much that they don’t want other people to feel they way they have? I, myself, am not even sure. But all I know is that people are never who they appear to be. Kind people are like candles, they burn themselves up so others will be able to see through the darkness.

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Learning to Let Go

Learning to let go of something that gave you so much to smile about is hard. I’ll admit this. I may be only 16 years old, but there is so many memories I have made with people in just these 16 years, it scares me to think about how much more I’m going to make with new people later in my life. I realize that memories are things that we keep forever. Things that we look back on and smile at because at one point, that moment was all that ever mattered. But then, people change. Things change. Something changes and nothing really is the same as it used to be.

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Accepting that Everything Happens for a Reason

I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so you can learn to let go, things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself , and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

~ Marilyn Monroe

Throughout last year, I realized that everything does actually happen for a reason. I lost some friends, failed a couple of times, and just let people down. There were a lot of other things that I could have done that would have made a big difference, but in the end, I’m actually really happy with my life right now.

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